...and then get pregnant. But for us that will never be the case. Back in 2007 we were told we were infertile. We had been trying to get pregnant for about a year at that time. We were doing everything possible - including temps, and charts and all that but nothing was happening. The day Sean went in to get tested will forever be in my memory. The doctor called us in and said it's not good news, there are 0 sperm. Not even one. None. Heartbreak.
Lots of emotions followed those next days. But more than anything we drew close to the Lord and to each other. It is we who are infertile, together, not one of us. And when we were married back in 2002 we knew that it was for better or worse. We knew that worse would come at times and we were committed to growing in that together.
Soon after the diagnosis, officially called obstructive azzozpermia (2 days I think) Sean went in for an SSR procedure to see if there were any sperm inside. This would determine if we would ever have a chance to have a biological child. Good news was there were lots of healthy sperm. They were retrieved. And from there we went on (through much prayer and support of family, friends and church family) to go ahead and pursue our only option for having a biological child IVF with ICSI. Keep in mind this was all done in Asia, but thankfully at a clinic with doctors that spoke good English.
That first IVF round was a whirlwind. It all happened so fast - we started only a few weeks after we found out about our infertility. Though we did do lots of research and speak to some doctors we trust about all the moral things to beware of in IVF we were still so new to the whole ART community. At that point I hadn't done any reading of IVF blogs or anything like that. I didn't have any friends who had done IVF. We were in Asia away from family and close friends. We had no idea what to expect. We told the doctor here that we wanted 4-6 embryos and they were very willing to abide by our wishes.
Long story short (or maybe not so short) we ended up with 5 embryos. Two were implanted in October 2007... which led to the birth of our beautiful amazing son in July of 2008. If you are reading this I assume you know us and or have been reading my blog so it is HARD to miss exactly how amazing we think this little guys is! We did a FET (frozen embryo transfer) of the remaining embryos in June of 2010 and the result was negative that time. This was a devastating time for us.
A few months ago we were blessed with a large sum of money apart from our support. We decided to use this money to try and add to our family again. Since we were already going to be back in Thailand for another reason it made sense to try again then.
So that leads us up to today. Some of you may know (well I assume most people that read this do already know) so this won't be a shock that we just implanted 3 healthy embryos Saturday morning. We did this round of IVF at the same clinic as last time. We again were praying for 4-6 embies and ended up with 3. We are thrilled with this chance to try again. And now we are waiting for 2 weeks to find out if we will be adding to our family.
So many emotions and things I want to say or should say but this is already getting to be a LONG post. I am not sure why I have waited so long to 'come out of the IVF closet' on our blog. I am sure there is a bit of fear attached. It is always hard to be vulnerable. But the truth is this is a BIG part of our lives right now. And I use this blog for myself too. I like being able to go back and look at what I said years ago. So I don't want to leave this big part out.
The Lord is doing some amazing things with us through all of this. Most recently I have been challenged to ask wether I want God's blessings more than I want to know him. Sean and I are growing as husband and wife, parents, Christians, friends, children and people. I know for sure that this is Gods perfect plan for us. It doesn't feel perfect some days. But I am sure of this, "There is no pain without purpose in the lives of the children of God"
Thank you all for your love and support through all of this!
