She is HERE!!!

Introducing 

Beatrice Cathlene Arvin

Born October 30th 9:33 am

7.3 lbs. 

PERFECT!!!!

I am sitting here now while she sleeps, Sean is trying to get paper work done so that we may be all able to go back to China together (instead of Caed staying with me and Sean making two trips).  

{finishing this post a few hours later, Sean is back with me and B is fast asleep. He got the paper work in PTL!!!}

Here are some pictures and details. 

Gramma was there for everything!

With Dr. S right after she was born

dark hair!

Meeting GeGe. Sweetest thing Caed said (which I think is on video) was while looking at her sleeping he asked me,"Is she real or a in color statue?" Caed also said, "Hey mommy - she has hair like you!"

Getting swaddled

Meeting GP

no time wasted in taking a passport picture :)

we are in love

amazing.

My heart is full of praise. I can't even begin to explain how I feel and how overwhelming this all is. I don't think it has even hit me yet! Look what the Lord has done! I think back to a year ago this time and he has truly brought beauty from ashes, and songs of joy from tears of sorrow. 

Regarding her name:

Beatrice means "bringer of happiness/joy" and also "she who blesses". And words cant begin to describe how much she already has been that for our family and how that is our wish for her in the future. Cathlene is because we wanted to honor our favorite women Catherine and Allene (our moms) and it means 'pure". Her nickname (well surely one of many to come, as we are huge nn people :) and what we will call her most of the time is Beia (Bay-uh. like princess Leia with a B). Bei (bay) will most likely be her Chinese nickname, though it doesn't really have a meaning (maybe BaoBei - baby?). We haven't picked a Chinese name for her yet. 

So there you have it - baby Beia.

And before my brain gets all cloudy with sleepless nights:

Last night I saw doctor, I was 6 days overdue. She stripped my membranes for the second time (she had the week before as well) but said cervix was okay but not great. We talked about how long she would let me go and decided that if she didn't come naturally we would need to induce on the 4th. I sent a few emails/messages out there asking people to pray she would come soon, as there are lots of details to settle with passport, visa, parents leaving, Sean having to go back and teach etc. 

Went to bed with nothing strange. Caed came in at 4:45 to ask for a drink. I got up and got him one then back to bed. At 5:00 am I felt first contraction. It was super painful right off the bat, like no way I could have talked through it. But there was time in between so since I couldn't sleep I wrote emails etc. I waited until it was light out at about 6:45 to wake up Sean and we went for a quick 10 min walk, but contractions were close together and around a minute. So we went back home, Sean showered and packed up. Caed woke up and I told him I was having contractions. He said the cutest prayer over my belly (though the end of the prayer ended up being all about weapons and how he had no weapons?!). When we told C we were leaving he got all sad and said he wanted to come help me 'pop Beia out' and that he could hold my hand. Good thing GP brought out a whole new bag of prizes and he was fine when we left.

 In the car ride contractions were close and hard. Got out of car with mom, they wheeled me up and they were very close. We got in the room at about 8:35. She checked me and I was at 9 cm.  Sean had to park and then run up 12 flights of stairs {the elevator at this hospital deserves a post of its own}. He got up around 8:50. Sean was amazing, a perfect coach and helper encouraging the whole way. My mom was amazing too. Helping out with everything even though the nurses spoke very little English. I felt I needed to push and doctor wasn't there, but nurse said I was 10 and to o ahead. Doc got there at 9:13 and Beatrice was born at 9:33 am. 

Everything was perfect. I couldn't have asked for anything better. Thank you all for your prayers over this baby and her birth. God has blessed us richly, beyond what we could have imagined. 

We are in the 'rivers of joy' right now and soaking it all up!

Waiting & Playing

Well little miss Arvin has yet to arrive and we are keeping busy here in the mean time. Trying to stay very active and do LOTS of walking to encourage this little girly along. I've been spending the mornings swimming laps in the pool and then each day we have...

Sunday night Sean and I went on a date and Caed had a date with Gramma and GP. 

Tuesday {her due date} we went to the zoo {again I still have that Raffi song in my head days after going to the zoo...}

held birds

fed swans

Wednesday Sean & my parents went golfing

Thursday we walked around the mall and then Dad and I got foot massages

Thursday night we went to the night market and walked around more. Caed is such a shopper! He was in a happy zone the whole time :)

Friday we had a party with our friends 

Saturday {today} we went to Horizon Village - which was this huge beautiful garden grounds. 

Here is Caed's cactus impression.

He got nipped by and ostrich at the petting zoo, this picture was taken at just the right second, while his hand was in the beak but the shock/hurt had yet to register on his face.

Then the crying quickly kicked in! 

We rented bikes and biked around the grounds - it is a huge park with sections like a topiary garden, cactus garden, herb garden. petting zoo, play area, labyrinth maze etc. 

And now Saturday night as I type all this out Caed is painting pine wood derby cars that GP brought here. 

In all the in between time we have been at the pool or napping :)

But no baby yet. 

About 3 weeks ago I had an ultrasound b/c they were worried she was small, and she was in fact smaller than what her due date said. I have never heard of a doctor moving back an IVF due date, since it should be so exact, but my doctor here said she would move it back by 5 days or so (making due date tomorrow). Either way in two more days I will have be 41 weeks pregnant. I suppose on Monday when we go to see the doctor we will need to make some decisions about how long we will go over, and then what. Physically I feel great, but mentally I am getting more and more anxious. I think because Sean will need to head back to China on the 9th and my parents flight is on the 6th and we need to get all the paper work in for her passport then visa etc - so all of that adds up. But overall I know that she will be here in perfect time, and that all of those details are nothing to fret over. But still lets pray that she comes in the next few days so that we can still make the consulate appointments that we have this week on Tuesday or Thursday!

The Last Days

My parents are here!!! They arrived 11:30pm on Friday night and here we are right after they got out of the car. When they came to Thailand when Caed was born they arrived 5 hours after he was born, so we are enjoying all this time of being pregnant with them here!

Baby's official due date is on the 23rd, only 2 days away now!

Today we went to a waterfall not far away from where we are staying. 

You can slide down the rocks, Caed though this was just amazing.

39+ weeks!!!

Last days as a family of three :)

Gramma and GP brought Caed this oriental trading magazine and you would have thought it was the most exciting book EVER. He has looked through it so many times, looking at each picture and each toy. He even took it to meals with him. Now that I think of it I have vague memories of getting huge Sears or JC Penny's catalogues when we were little and looking through the toys sections over and over...

And now we are headed out for our last date (Sean and I) before baby. Massages, dinner and a movie! I am so excited :) So so incredibly grateful Gramma and GP are here.

Reflections & Thankfulness

On Friday night my husband and son joined me  in Thailand. I am overjoyed to have them here now. But I will forever be grateful to Sean for giving me these last two weeks on my own here. It has been a most relaxing time, filled with reflection, sleep, reading, preparing etc. 

One of the things I did those weeks was to go back and read what I had written during the most hard times of the last 2 years. I could barely start reading a post I had written then without bursting into tears. Because even though this baby I'm carrying now is real and will be here soon, the hurt of all those years is still real too. I wish i was a better writer so that I could truly express all I feel now. For starters, I am not sure if this is a common feeling people who walk through infertility have or not, but I still feel like this pregnancy and this baby are still 'dream like'. I wake up and still think, "Wow this is REALLY happening." I am not sure when it will all feel real, that there will be another life in our family! Maybe when we finally decide on a name {we are close but not quite there, another post to come on that hopefully before she arrives}. Maybe when we see her? I am not sure. And I also feel not ready to be done with being pregnant quite yet, which I realize may sound weird. Of course I am more than excited for this next part, but to know that this is it, the last time, is also difficult (and apparently way to hard for me to explain adequately - I hope I am not the only one out there who has gone through this though). But I trust the Lord with our family and what it does now and will in the future look like. I have no idea what that holds, but we are fairly certain that we won't be adding any more biological kids (via IVF) into our family. Anyway I am getting more and more excited by the day to meet our daughter (see that even feels weird to say!).

Reflecting back I also can't help but be overwhelmed by God's mercy to us in all of this. In giving this new life. There is nothing 'right' we did to deserve this. And it keeps flooding back into my mind how blessed we are, and how none of this is deserved. I read in Jesus Calling today (Oct 14) that "Bearing your circumstances bravely--even thanking me for them--is one of the highest forms of praise." I remember reading A Thousand Gifts of Thankfulness last year and how on the hardest of days (like when one of the babies we lost would be due, or when we thought we had lost this baby) it hurt to sit down and list things I was truly thankful for. But there were ALWAYS things to be thankful for. And on those days it was an act of obedience to list them out, to speak them out loud, and remember how blessed I really was/am. It reminds me of the song Blessed Be Your Name and the line, "When there is pain in the offering, blessed be your name." Not quite sure where I am going with all of this, but I wanted to write it all out for future reflection :)

Today I woke up and felt like thankfulness was just flowing out of me. It wasn't hard, it wasn't painful, it didn't feel like a sacrifice, it felt like it was unavoidable. I woke up thankful for: being next to my loving and self-sacrificing husband, the last two weeks of relaxation, the beautiful October Thailand weather, our super creative/funny/imaginative son (he comes in our bed in the morning and we play family games like today he was a little cobra in an egg and he would hatch then want to eat hamburgers, then cuddle with mom and dad then after he said "I love you" the Dad snake would give him poison in his fangs - we had about 14 of these 'cobra births' in our bed today), thankful for the place we are staying where we don't have to cook at all, thankful to be around all the people here and get to hear all their stories, thankful for technology that I can call and see my mom pretty much any time, thankful that my parents are coming all the way to the other side of the world to support us, thankful that there are a group of other boys staying here ages 6-12 and on the first morning here Caed looked out the window saw one and said to us, "I see a boy around my age out there, I'm going to go be his friend, I'll see you guys later tonight!", thankful for that kind of personality in him who loves to make new friends and who is overjoyed to be around "English kids" {right now he has been off with them for over an hour, I can occasionally hear them and their antics}.

 So yeah the list can go on, easily. It reminds me how easy it is to overflow with thankfulness in the good times, and how hard it was to sputter out thankfulness in the hard times. So those words today from the JC book were good "Joy emerges from the ashes of adversity through your trust and thankfulness."

I know there will be many ups and downs in the future and I hope I can come back and read this and remember to "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Jesus Christ" - the verse we have hanging in our living room. 

And now it is time to head to the pool for a mid-morning swim with my baby cobra. 

my heart is happy

A New Baby! {not ours though}

I was able to get together with my friend M, who also lives in CN and came here to have her baby, last Monday. It was her due date that day and we were able to get this one picture of us both pregnant because the next day...

...their gorgeous little boy was born! Sweetness :) 

Surely more pictures of this little guy to follow when meimei is born too.

Yup this is what I have been missing the last 9 months! Sundae with carmel. I'll say it again, it's a good thing I was pregnant in China b/c I have little to no self control when it comes to giving in to food cravings. In China my craving was those clay pot sour rice noodles with erkuai and bean sprouts 

(not nearly as unhealthy as a huge sundae)!

At the waterfalls on Saturday - 37.5 weeks! 

Also the waterfalls were beautiful and so fun, I hope we can take Caed and my parents there asap.

also - photoshop filter fun...

Baby Shower

In mid-September my sweet friends in CN through a baby shower for me to celebrate baby Arvin.

J made this AMAZING {understatement} chocolate cake. We joked that it probably weighed as much as the baby will, but that's not much of a joke because it seriously was heavy! It was hands down the best craving fulfilled of my whole pregnancy. Good thing I was not pregnant in America...

Look at the cute diaper cake A made - so crafty :) 

I am laughing at the balloons/one streamer right now as I post this though - 

I am thinking of Haley's reaction to that decoration...

The food was amazing.

Not many pictures - I took a bunch with my camera but I thought my camera was having issues because they all looked kind of bright and blurry. When I got home I told Sean we need a new camera, to which he responded 'let me see it' and then promptly discovered a huge fingerprint smudge on the lens, oopps - good one Nicole 

I felt so loved and blessed by all the women who came. I get overwhelmed just thinking about how much love and support we have!

Maternity Pictures

The friday before I left CN we went to a local photo studio to take some pictures as a family. After consulting with the people there and seeing some horrendous/terrifying examples of maternity pictures I quickly didd some searching on pinterest for more 'American' ideas in regards to pregnancy pictures. Though somehow some 'Chinese-y' ones still made their way in...

This was photographers idea, it just makes me laugh. They said it was one of their favorites because C looks so 'cute'. But we don't get it - what's he saying shhh to? And you can hardly see any baby...

Note- black in maternity pictures not a great idea, especially when they then choose a black background :)

35+ pregnant with little girl

34 weeks pregnant with Caedmon (look how young we were!!!)

 This has got to be my favorite of all the 'Chinese-y' ones we did. Again we just laughed when we saw it, the apple? Baffled us. While I was taking these I was calling to Sean, "Are you seeing what they are having me do?! I am nervous this is going to end up on the wall of the studio!" 

They also took one of my bare belly where they photoshopped out the top of my belly button. It was pretty funny, sorry not sharing that one :)

The lady at the shop also told me that this is one of her favorites because of Caed's expression and because he looks "chubby". They asked if Caed could come back and take pictures just him. I said they may need some bribes {I had bought and wrapped many little toys as bribes for this photo session} and plan to do the same when we go back for pictures after we take baby home. Luckily there is no sitting fee and if you do your own makeup/hair/clothes you only pay $1.33 per picture you want on CD. Pretty good deal, even if you do have to pretend bite an apple.