The Waiting

The waiting is so hard. It is like waiting to see if you are going to have an incredibly joyful day or a devastatingly hard day in the near future. It's daunting! Thankfully since we are back in he US for a short visit after almost 2 years abroad the time is passing quickly (for the most part). I have been keeping busy. Nights and early mornings are the worst. Or whenever I am alone and all I can think about is "did this work or not". I have no 'symptoms' or 'signs' at all. If anything I just feel completely normal - which scares me. Though rationally I know it would be unlikely to 'feel' anything this early. I read blogs of other women who have had early symptoms so that lack of anything doesn't feel like a good sign. Our plan right now is still to wait until Friday morning until we test. But we have this speaking engagement this weekend (Sat & Sun) at a place out of town, where we don't know anyone really well and part of me wants to put off the testing until after that is over with. I just can't imagine getting devastating news then having to sit and talk to people all weekend... So we will see.